Jim Says: “The smoker you drink, the player you get.”
Many years ago, King Clyde Glunk faced a dilemma. His kingdom was about to come under siege by the Romans as they advanced through Europe. The King stepped onto his balcony and addressed his people..
“My citizens, we have a grave decision to make. The Roman army is approaching and we are badly outnumbered with no chance of victory. If we fight, we will most likely be overrun with very few survivors left to tell our tale. However, if we abandon our small kingdom to flee and hide throughout Europe, our culture will be lost and forgotten in the sands of time. I will not order you to fight. Instead, I leave the decision to you, good people. Shall we face the oncoming onslaught and fight to defend our way of life, or shall we run? I shall return in the morning for your answer.”
The next day, King Clyde Glunk, weary from a sleepless night, made his way to the balcony to once again address his people.
“Good people, I ask you. Do we run and hide? Or do we head onward into battle?”
There was silence as a lone representative from the crowd made his way to the front. He stopped, and looked up at his King. He removed his hat and began to speak…
“Your Majesty,” he said, “as your loyal subjects, we have discussed this long into the night. We have weighed every option, and have come to a solid conclusion.”
“What say you?” asked the King.
“We shall not run and hide. We shall… MARCH FORTH!”
And that’s how we came to celebrate this holiday. May you and yours have a glorius March 4th.
Jim Says:”In honor of Sam.”
HAMLET
To sleep, perchance to dream – ay, there may be the rub, for in this sleep…
20%?!? I just had this plugged in! Where’s that damn cable.
(calls to someone offstage)
Hon..
GERTRUDE!!
GERT!!
GERTRUDE
What?
HAMLET
Keep the goddam phone plugged in when you’re watching YouTube.. PLEASE!!
Jim Says: ” The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, stop forwarding it to me!”
Or, as they say in Canada..
“Oot and aboot on the scoot.”
Jim Says:”This global warming shit is all right!”
One of my best friends and I share a birthday. We’ve known each other over 43 years. We’ve played drums together, grown up, rode motorcycles, shared a million laughs and a few thousand beers. So, as we lap the sun for the 54th time together, I’m proud to wish my friend Scott, a Happy Birthday.
Jim (left) and Scott (right)
Hard to believe we’re the same age. I still have my youthful good looks, hair, and most of my teeth. As you can clearly see, Scott is clearly a hollow shell of his former self, falling apart right in front of our eyes. Regardless, Happy Birthday, Buddy!
I SAID, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
Is he breathing? Someone put a mirror under his nose.
Jim says: “Sorry ladies, locals only.”
