My Prom Date Story

This is a true story…

It all happened around 10 or so years ago, in early October. On Thursday, I hit the daily number for $500. It was an unusual weekend in that I didn’t have a gig and was just hanging out at the bar that I used to frequent. Being young with a pocket full of cash, I bought a round for the bar and we all partied until close. Since I knew all the waitresses and bartenders, we hung out until around 3 AM shooting pool, playing darts, etc.

Now, when I had originally decided to go out, it was warm for fall. Around 68 degrees, so I took the motorcycle. From the time I left my house, to the time I left the bar, the temperature had dropped to 45. Just as I threw my leg over the bike, it began to rain. I was only about 2 1/2 miles from my house, but on the way home, I passed no less than 7 local cops. When I walked into the house, I was cold, wet, paranoid. On the kitchen counter, was a note from my parents. It read…

“Jim, Watch Real Sex on HBO, and tell us if you recognize anyone.”

If you’re unfamiliar with the show, it’s about sex (obviously) and they show different preferences, kinks, whatever.

My parents wouldn’t tell me who to look for, so I had to wait until Tuesday when the show aired again. The first segment was about body piercing, and they showed a woman getting her nipple pierced on the show. As the camera pulled back and revealed her face, I recognized her. It was Molly, the girl I took to my high school prom. Right hand to god, my prom date got her nipple pierced on HBO!

For the longest time, it really bothered me. And I couldn’t figure out if it was because half the country had seen my prom date naked, or it was just the fact she got on HBO before I did. I finally came to the conclusion that it’s the fact that MY PARENTS ARE WATCHING “REAL SEX”!! AAAGH!

Absolutely true story.