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I’ve been reading a rather interesting book lately, that covers the origin and metamorphosis of many common words and phrases.

According to Mark Forsyth’s “The Etymologicon”, the oldest recorded joke in the English language is..

What hangs at a man’s thigh and wants to poke the hole that it’s often poked before?

A key.

A dick joke from the 10th century! I love it!

Jim Says:”Faith in humanity.. Restored!”

Many years ago, King Clyde Glunk faced a dilemma. His kingdom was about to come under siege by the Romans as they advanced through Europe.rnrnThe King stepped onto his balcony and addressed his people..

“My citizens, we have a grave decision to make. The Roman army is approaching and we are badly outnumbered with no chance of victory. If we fight, we will most likely be overrun with very few survivors left to tell our tale. However, if we abandon our small kingdom to flee and hide throughout Europe, our culture will be lost and forgotten in the sands of time. I will not order you to fight. Instead, I leave the decision to you, good people. Shall we face the oncoming onslaught and fight to defend our way of life, or shall we run? I shall return in the morning for your answer.”

The next day, King Clyde Glunk, weary from a sleepless night, made his way to the balcony to once again address his people.

“Good people, I ask you. Do we run and hide? Or do we head onward into battle?”

There was silence as a lone representative from the crowd made his way to the front. He stopped, and looked up at his King. He removed his hat and began to speak…

“Your Majesty,” he said, “as your loyal subjects, we have discussed this long into the night. We have weighed every option, and have come to a solid conclusion.”

“What say you?” asked the King.

“We shall not run and hide. We shall… MARCH FORTH!”

And that’s how we came to celebrate this holiday. May you and yours have a glorius March 4th.

Jim Says:”Here’s to you, Mr. Sunderman.”