humor

All posts tagged humor

Many years ago, King Clyde Glunk faced a dilemma. His kingdom was about to come under siege by the Romans as they advanced through Europe. The King stepped onto his balcony and addressed his people..

“My citizens, we have a grave decision to make. The Roman army is approaching and we are badly outnumbered with no chance of victory. If we fight, we will most likely be overrun with very few survivors left to tell our tale. However, if we abandon our small kingdom to flee and hide throughout Europe, our culture will be lost and forgotten in the sands of time. I will not order you to fight. Instead, I leave the decision to you, good people. Shall we face the oncoming onslaught and fight to defend our way of life, or shall we run? I shall return in the morning for your answer.”

The next day, King Clyde Glunk, weary from a sleepless night, made his way to the balcony to once again address his people.

“Good people, I ask you. Do we run and hide? Or do we head onward into battle?”

There was silence as a lone representative from the crowd made his way to the front. He stopped, and looked up at his King. He removed his hat and began to speak…

“Your Majesty,” he said, “as your loyal subjects, we have discussed this long into the night. We have weighed every option, and have come to a solid conclusion.”

“What say you?” asked the King.

“We shall not run and hide. We shall… MARCH FORTH!”

And that’s how we came to celebrate this holiday. May you and yours have a glorius March 4th.

Jim Says:”In honor of Sam.”

Many years ago, King Clyde Glunk faced a dilemma. His kingdom was about to come under siege by the Romans as they advanced through Europe.rnrnThe King stepped onto his balcony and addressed his people..

“My citizens, we have a grave decision to make. The Roman army is approaching and we are badly outnumbered with no chance of victory. If we fight, we will most likely be overrun with very few survivors left to tell our tale. However, if we abandon our small kingdom to flee and hide throughout Europe, our culture will be lost and forgotten in the sands of time. I will not order you to fight. Instead, I leave the decision to you, good people. Shall we face the oncoming onslaught and fight to defend our way of life, or shall we run? I shall return in the morning for your answer.”

The next day, King Clyde Glunk, weary from a sleepless night, made his way to the balcony to once again address his people.

“Good people, I ask you. Do we run and hide? Or do we head onward into battle?”

There was silence as a lone representative from the crowd made his way to the front. He stopped, and looked up at his King. He removed his hat and began to speak…

“Your Majesty,” he said, “as your loyal subjects, we have discussed this long into the night. We have weighed every option, and have come to a solid conclusion.”

“What say you?” asked the King.

“We shall not run and hide. We shall… MARCH FORTH!”

And that’s how we came to celebrate this holiday. May you and yours have a glorius March 4th.

Jim Says:”In honor of Sam.”

“It’s like, Dude, how did they know? That’s so creepy, right? My boss must be in the illuminati or something. Man, I bet they have drones tracking $20 bills so they can figure when it’s being spent on weed. I hear they put a chip in each bill so satellites can track them.”

421

“Dude, you backed into a police car.”

“Yeah, but it was the government that arrested me. Fascists!”

Jim Says:”If you’re doing something illegal, don’t advertise it, stupid. What are you, high?”

Greatest Spam EVER!!!

This came in today..

email

Greatest spam ever!

 

I admit, I am intrigued. I googled the domain that it was sent from, and sadly it does not exist. I’m tempted to reply just to see if I can get the rest of the story.

The bigger question is, if I turn this into a screenplay, can I be sued? I would never plagiarize, but my mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention. [1]Ditto!

Anyway, this was better than any TV I’ve seen today. Thank you, random internet jackass!

Jim Says:”Will Rogers ever find love? Where is Jones now? What will we tell the magicians?”

Footnotes

Footnotes
1 Ditto!