Misc

Truth in Advertising

Posted by Jim on March 15, 2021
Posted in: Food, Humor, Misc, Personal. Tagged: , , .

Every now and then, something just sticks in my craw. (And I think we all know how painful that can be.) With everything going on, a little forethought from companies would go a long way to building some good will as well as brand loyalty. 

Today’s grievance – packaging! I don’t ask for a lot. I have simple tastes and am a creature of habit. For example, I like Raisin Bran. Simple, good old fashioned Raisin Bran. It needs nothing, in my opinion. Great for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, and anytime in between. 

I understand that to maximize profits, a company must explore options, create new products, and expand their market. That’s why so many car companies offer 3 variations of the exact same car. There’s the Buick Encore, Enclave and Envision. Nissan has the Rogue, Murano, and Pathfinder. We all see it. It’s the same t-shirt, small, medium, and large.

Back to Raisin Bran. Kellogs, for some reason, decided to mess with Raisin Bran. Fair enough, update a classic for an evolving market. Use brand loyalty to expand with new(ish) products and increase profits.

Here’s my beef. The labelling needs to be VERY different. Raisin Bran Crunch, is NOT a flavor of Raisin Bran. They are very different. And the hint of bitter grain offset by raisins that makes Raisin Bran so beloved, is completely absent in the sickly sweet assault that is Raisin Bran Crunch. (Yes, it’s crunchier, but so what.)

“But, if your so into Rasin Bran, why did you buy the Crunch, idiot?” I hear you. I didn’t do it intentionally. When I find something I like, I stick with it. I’ve been eating Raisin Bran for over 40 years. And, if you’re standing in the grocery store cereal aisle, you’ll possibly spot the difference, if the two products are shelved side by side. (see image)

None of these things are anything like the other.

Now, if you’re in Costco, trying to find your essentials (as they seemingly move around the store at every visit), trying to maintain social distancing, watching out for your parent or child that may be with you, all you see is one “Raisin Bran” on the shelf.. Well, take a wild guess who has two thumbs and has a return for Costco sitting on top of the refrigerator. THIS GUY!!

There are plenty of brands that are guilty of this. But, far and away, the worst offender is Mt. Dew. In the illustration above, there is a bottle of Diet Mt. Dew in addition to regular Mt. Dew.

Did you spot it?

Imagine it’s a hot day, you’re on your way home from work, your mind still on the nonsense that you’ve been dealing with at work all day and already planning for tomorrow’s issues. You stop in to a convenience store to grab a Mt. Dew to cool off. Head back to the cooler, replaying that last phone call in your head, remembering that email you forgot to answer, etc. You swing past the cooler, grab your Mt. Dew, pay, and back into traffic to crawl your way home through rush hour.

You open your drink, still thinking about the office, and look forward to the one little joy you may be able to filch out of the day. and then.. BAM!

The acrid taste of, WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIS CRAP?!? 

That’s right, DIET Mt. Dew. So named because “Undrinkable Sewage” didn’t test well with focus groups. If you’ve never actually tasted it, don’t!

Those bottles need to be VERY different from each other. I recommend a giant “WARNING! DIET MT. DEW!” in a mix of fluorescent orange and red on the label.

So, thanks for coming to my rant, and remember, read those labels!

Jim says: “Only you can prevent Diet Mt. Dew!”

Unsolicited Endorsement #562

Posted by Jim on May 18, 2015
Posted in: Misc, Personal.

Somewhere along the way, I developed an affinity for shaving gear. I ran the gamut of cartridges and disposables, shave creams, gels and lotions. After many years of experimentation, and hundreds of dollars, I’ve finally found my kit.

I’ll begin with the gel. I’ve found Somerset’s Shaving Gel to be about the best I’ve ever used. I’ve tried the foaming shave creams and gels from various manufacturers, but this takes the cake. It’s a blue gel that, when applied, does not lather. It’s best used after softening the whiskers with hot water.

Somerset's Gel

Somerset’s Shaving Gel

 

Applied sparingly, Somerset’s will lubricate the skin and allow for a very close shave without nicks and cuts. It’s relatively fragrance free (which I greatly appreciate), and doesn’t dry out my skin. After shaving, a cold water rinse, and you’re good to go.

The other part of this equation is the razor. About the time I went to college, I discovered Wilkinson Sword (Schick in the USA). I found their blades to be about the best I’ve ever used, sharp and durable. I eventually settled on a cartridge system that they no longer make. That forced my hand, and I started doing some research. Lo and behold, I found the Wilkinson Sword Classic.

 

wilkinson classic

Wilkinson Sword Classic

I’ve been using the double edge blades in the Wilkinson Sword Classic handle, modeled after the “safety razors” of our fathers and grandfathers. AND LOVING IT!

It does take some practice to get the proper angle when using a safety razor, but the shave is really worth it. Also, blades are roughly $1.50 for a 5 pack. Can’t beat that.

I do want to give honorable mention to C.O. Bigelow Shave Cream. I really like this, and use it from time to time. The eucalyptus soothes the skin, although the fragrance can be a bit strong.

bigelow

C.O. Bigelow Premium Shave Cream

 

Jim Says:”It ain’t skydiving, but it’s important.”

Pick one and run with it..

Posted by Jim on October 17, 2013
Posted in: Misc. Tagged: , , , , .

So, I’ve been seeing this “What’s Your Excuse?” poster that some fitness idiot posted on their website that shows of her body 8 months after having her third child. There’s been arguments that this woman is helping to create a healthier country by encouraging people to be like her. There are critics that accuse her of “fat shaming” and encouraging bullying.

Let’s step into the little bubble where this is actually important enough to warrant our time..

For years, I’ve hear the argument that Barbie creates an unhealthy image for girls and she shouldn’t be touted as the “perfect woman”.

Agreed. Barbie, in addition to be a physical impossibility (because she is a fucking toy!!!), also has a corvette, a Mailbu Dream House, countless baubles, dresses and accessories. What she doesn’t have is a goddam job! Who is paying for all of this? Certainly not Ken. No, she’s been stringing her “friend Ken” along for years. Where’s the money coming from? Is there a Sugar Daddy doll that nobody knows about?

Maria Kang has been getting more support than criticism in the reports I’ve seen. And, if we’re honest, she is the problem. I took some time to read her website, and encourage you to do the same. I’m no psychologist, but I can spot crazy at ten paces. Make up your own mind. I’m calling “severe emotional damage” here. Train wreck in motion, with THREE kids, no less.

So, as someone who is “out of shape” (to put it mildly), what is my “excuse”?

For starters, I like who I am and feel quite comfortable in my skin. Does my weight limit some things I can do? Yes. Is my health at risk? Not according to my doctor. rnrnLet me point something out here. My Doctor IS someone who has been through medical school, passing all exams and boards and has been treating patients for many years, both in hospitals and private practice.

My Doctor IS NOT a realtor who is “really knowledgeable about holistic healing and has read a bunch of stuff on the internet and participated in retreats and been to ‘Burning Man’ for, like, the last twelve years running and has his own set of crystals that really work”.

Also, I really don’t care what the media says. I don’t want to be like any modern celebrity, with the possible exception of Tom Hanks. There are people who intentionally dress and act like the idiots from “Jersey Shore”. They buy into this bullshit. And the absolute LAST woman on Earth I’d care to associate with would be anyone named “Kardashian”. (Although a possible exception could be made for Kourtney. There may be hope for her yet.)

Let’s step out of the bubble, get back to the important stuff of raising families, fixing our government (it’s up to us), and helping the next generation develop better bullshit filters.

Jim Says:”I’m getting tired of this nonsense.”