humor

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Many years ago, King Clyde Glunk faced a dilemma. His kingdom was about to come under siege by the Romans as they advanced through Europe. The King stepped onto his balcony and addressed his people..

“My citizens, we have a grave decision to make. The Roman army is approaching and we are badly outnumbered with no chance of victory. If we fight, we will most likely be overrun with very few survivors left to tell our tale. However, if we abandon our small kingdom to flee and hide throughout Europe, our culture will be lost and forgotten in the sands of time. I will not order you to fight. Instead, I leave the decision to you, good people. Shall we face the oncoming onslaught and fight to defend our way of life, or shall we run? I shall return in the morning for your answer.”

The next day, King Clyde Glunk, weary from a sleepless night, made his way to the balcony to once again address his people.

“Good people, I ask you. Do we run and hide? Or do we head onward into battle?”

There was silence as a lone representative from the crowd made his way to the front. He stopped, and looked up at his King. He removed his hat and began to speak…

“Your Majesty,” he said, “as your loyal subjects, we have discussed this long into the night. We have weighed every option, and have come to a solid conclusion.”

“What say you?” asked the King.

“We shall not run and hide. We shall… MARCH FORTH!”

And that’s how we came to celebrate this holiday. May you and yours have a glorius March 4th.

Jim Says:”In honor of Sam.”

Many years ago, King Clyde Glunk faced a dilemma. His kingdom was about to come under siege by the Romans as they advanced through Europe. The King stepped onto his balcony and addressed his people..

“My citizens, we have a grave decision to make. The Roman army is approaching and we are badly outnumbered with no chance of victory. If we fight, we will most likely be overrun with very few survivors left to tell our tale. However, if we abandon our small kingdom to flee and hide throughout Europe, our culture will be lost and forgotten in the sands of time. I will not order you to fight. Instead, I leave the decision to you, good people. Shall we face the oncoming onslaught and fight to defend our way of life, or shall we run? I shall return in the morning for your answer.”

The next day, King Clyde Glunk, weary from a sleepless night, made his way to the balcony to once again address his people.

“Good people, I ask you. Do we run and hide? Or do we head onward into battle?”

There was silence as a lone representative from the crowd made his way to the front. He stopped, and looked up at his King. He removed his hat and began to speak…

“Your Majesty,” he said, “as your loyal subjects, we have discussed this long into the night. We have weighed every option, and have come to a solid conclusion.”

“What say you?” asked the King.

“We shall not run and hide. We shall… MARCH FORTH!”

And that’s how we came to celebrate this holiday. May you and yours have a glorius March 4th.

Jim Says:”For Sam.”

  We here at JimCavalier.com take curtailing the spread of the Coronavirus (Covid-19) very seriously. As a result, the “Jim Cavalier Kisses Better Than You Contest” has been temporarily postponed, as has the “Jim Will Shake Hands with Everyone in Your Hospital” challenge. We are also no longer buying, nor selling, soiled intimates until this whole thing blows over.

  I’m sure many of you will be disappointed to learn that we are no longer selling “clean” blood (all types), and urine (pregnant only) for drug tests until further notice. Sadly, this also means suspending all requests for “Things That Have Been Licked”. We apologize for any inconvenience. 

Lastly, to help protect our visitors, we nightly wipe our servers, like with a rag, and, with the amount of liquor we spill around the office, we’re not really worried about anything else.

Thank you, and stay safe out there.

Jim Says: “If I survived all those cases of Milwaukee’s Best in college, I’m not really worried about this Corona crap.”

Many years ago, King Clyde Glunk faced a dilemma. His kingdom was about to come under siege by the Romans as they advanced through Europe. The King stepped onto his balcony and addressed his people..

“My citizens, we have a grave decision to make. The Roman army is approaching and we are badly outnumbered with no chance of victory. If we fight, we will most likely be overrun with very few survivors left to tell our tale. However, if we abandon our small kingdom to flee and hide throughout Europe, our culture will be lost and forgotten in the sands of time. I will not order you to fight. Instead, I leave the decision to you, good people. Shall we face the oncoming onslaught and fight to defend our way of life, or shall we run? I shall return in the morning for your answer.”

The next day, King Clyde Glunk, weary from a sleepless night, made his way to the balcony to once again address his people.

“Good people, I ask you. Do we run and hide? Or do we head onward into battle?”

There was silence as a lone representative from the crowd made his way to the front. He stopped, and looked up at his King. He removed his hat and began to speak…

“Your Majesty,” he said, “as your loyal subjects, we have discussed this long into the night. We have weighed every option, and have come to a solid conclusion.”

“What say you?” asked the King.

“We shall not run and hide. We shall… MARCH FORTH!”

And that’s how we came to celebrate this holiday. May you and yours have a glorius March 4th.

Jim Says:”In honor of Sam.”